Morocco in review

Since I can remember, I’ve been creative, inquisitive and colorful. When I was introduced to Tumblr in high school those traits were amplified by what this platform had to offer. I began to collect architecture, home decor, various structures decorated with mosaic tile. Over time, I assembled a collage of beautiful photos. But I had no idea of their location. So after a careful search, it turned out they had one thing in common.  They were all in Marrakech, Morocco and I had to make the pilgrimage to see these places for myself.

So, I asked two friends to accompany me to Northern Africa. Fortunately for me, they agreed and we were off. Nearly 26 hours later, we were in Marrakech.

As soon as we got there, we ventured out to see the local scene. The warm, balmy evening air offered rich sounds, smells and sights. We were treated to Moroccan city life – busy markets and streets full of people with olive skin. I could see some men wearing the traditional garb, thick hair and beard, while women were covered.

There was a structured chaos, absent of concrete streets with bricked pavement as walkways, while vehicles passed and donkeys scurried. Street sides were lined with micro-businesses – barbers, shoe shiners, seamstress, butchers, and much, much more. There were people selling shoes, lamps, tunics, herbs, roots, holistic crystals and live chickens.

This marketplace was referred to as “Big Square” – or Jamaa el Fna. And much like cities all over the world, this epicenter of activity offers a window into the diverse, fascinating and complex scenes that we are used to seeing in a large metropolis. And for a newcomer, it is easy to get lost in the narrow streets and dimly lit alleys that lie beyond the main drag.  We had multiple interesting interactions people as we wandered the bazaars – or souks, as they are called.

People spend years living overseas, embedded in another country, and still talk about their own ignorance.  Being there for the first time for a total of 36 hours, we had experiences that are best to ponder and absorb for now.  And write about later.

Photographic Memory

It was about 3 in the afternoon, I had been awake since 4this morning running none stop. Working and getting things together around the house I was in a constant state of movement, my phone on do not disturb I politely stood in Starbucks line. I was fogged thinking what drink to get a decaf caramel macchiato or iced cinnamon dolce latte? As I pondered my drink order he tapped my shoulder… gently but firm. Without looking back to acknowledge him I stepped back into reality.

Grande decaf caramel macchiato with extra caramel drizzle, ​please. I wanted to feel the warmth hit my insides as I slurped down this sugary goodness. However, ​no more than I wanted to devour the gentleman that appeared in front of me, “Add her drink to my bill please.” I stepped back to take in this man who was obviously of the creative nature. He was beautiful like a woman is beautiful without a homosexual undertone. He smelled of a soft woody musk… I thanked him and smiled. “You were pretty out of it, I figured today was a long one for you.”

Smiling he unveiled a crooked smile, his teeth were white his gums pink. His lips full and plump almost protruding from under his salt and pepper mustache. He was dark as night and his skin had a sheen you’d only be able to notice when close to him, he stood about 5’11 and he dressed in yoga garb. Wearing structured harem pants and a tunic with a denim jacket, his monochromatic greys under the dark blue oozed with masculinity and made him appear to be a bit wise. His hair was partially shaved on one side and a low coily charismatic fro grew on the opposite side.

We talked briefly as I noticed he had camera equipment in his backpack. I asked a few qualifying questions as I needed a photographer for a few upcoming work events. “If you have time I can show you a few things.” Being that this was the last errand on my list I had more time than I knew what to do with. “Sure I live about a block from here if you’re ok with that, If not I’ll spare a few minutes here.” He smiled and agreed to follow me to my place. We talked more as we took the short walk to my place and up the stairs.

I asked if he’d like something to drink as he set up in the other room, I grabbed some water. As I passed through the house to get the kitchen I turned on some music so it was hard to hear him. Out of his jacket and flicking test shots at my wall, he asked if I’d let him shoot me a bit, laughing shy like I agreed. That’s when things began to change for the better… or wetter.

I played in front of the camera for a few short minutes and began taking my clothes off, slowly at first my jacket then shoes. Within five minutes my dress was on the floor and I was completely naked. He stepped back still taking pictures as I danced seductively towards him, I knew what I wanted and so did he. Smiling he stepped toward me and dropped his camera on the couch. I undressed him, his shirt first. Climbing up his body with kisses all over his thick base, his shirt over his head I wouldn’t let him kiss me. Then his pants, secured by asymmetrical snaps I ripped them off, he like myself didn’t agree with undergarments. He was partially ready and pre-cum was present, I grabbed him his shaft and base clear of hair I looked up into his eyes. Locking eyes I opened my mouth wide and stretched out my tongue to accept the gift. My lips full and moisturized I took him into my mouth slurping and moistening him. When I removed him from my mouth saliva connected the two of us. He took my head into his hands and fucked my face so hard my face looked as if my nose and mouth were running simultaneously from all the saliva. With my face full of tears and my throat ravished I stood up only to swiftly be bent over and handled.

Bent over he slowly entered me, once inside fully he pounded as hard as he could. I felt him deep inside me filling me up and rearranging my insides. It was a pleasant pain but one I couldn’t take for too much longer, rather than have me scream out to the high heavens he slowed down. My body collapsed, he turned me over and ate my yoni with a less aggressive approach. As he ate my yoni he stroked his penis, the view was amazing so much so I had to capture it. I took his camera into my hands and took pictures of him enjoying me up until he began to build my climax. I grabbed his head as he had mine and directed his movements ​while winding up my hips and holding his had I came in his mouth. Thinking he would be offended and leave I released my hand from his head slowly. Rising from the floor still massaging his penis, I positioned my body under his allowing him to release all over my breast. I smiled and retired to the shower, my music still on once I returned to the room him and all his things were gone.

 

A week later I checked my mail to find a picture of him eating my yoni and his number… telling me to call him.

Too easy to please…

I was on cloud 9 after my visit to Lamar’s, we didn’t have sex and he showed great discipline and it made me like him more. I returned home to work and eventually online classes, although the mash up proved to be time consuming I still thought of Lamar often. That was my boo how could I not, even with distance and no title I was committed to him because he seemed to be worthy. A man that checked on me, made me feel safe, made me smile, listened carefully and understood what I wanted. Making sure to slip in little sidebars on the things he heard me say, just so I’d know he was listening. I literally danced when he came home from working all day. He was obviously fine as ever, body like a demigod and loved family. Talked about how he and I could be soulmates, kept notes I wrote him… yea I thought he was worth something.

We had about 14 days between our next visit and I assumed things would fly by. For the first few days the time went so slow, the days dragged like a heavy sack of laundry up three flights of stairs in the summer. Partially because unlike before Lamar wasn’t making multiple calls to talk to me or “just see my face” like he used to. For a bit I told myself, “let him get accustomed to his work schedule since he added a new gig.” I mean I had seen how busy Lamar was on my visit, seeing me only in the morning and upon returning home. He would return attempt to chat with me and pass out shortly after. I could tell in my visit that all his calling and reaching out were a great sacrifice. It made me appreciate him so much more, the guy I had grown infatuated with was sacrificing his time for me, without reminding me or wanting a reward. 

As I think about it now I can remember how much his consistency and consideration made me want to suck the soul out of him. That’s how grateful and pleased his efforts made me, to have other men that were detrimental to my self esteem that caused me to trust less and leave more. I just wanted to be great for him, as great as he was to me. 

I mean things were bound to change I guess…nothing good last forever right?  I called him and his voice sound like a smokers, he was so exhausted. Harsh, low, weak and defeated his words slowly passing through my ears. -Awe my babe is really tired. I thought as I held the phone. “Just wanted to know if you got your ticket for Friday?”, “Yea, I booked it.” That was all the confirmation I needed at the time, after seeing how hard he worked and hearing him so tired I was passive in my efforts to speak to the guy that made me smile from state to state. I wanted him to rest up, have the limited time he could to himself I’d see him soon enough. 

There was one time I panicked we hadn’t spoken in 36 hours and before I could get upset he read my mind (like I was accustomed to him doing at this point.) 

“Hey I’ve been so busy, what are you up to?”

I responded with no reply. It was odd but at least he reached out. I mean I understood now just how busy he was. However after that one day became two, two became three and up came the fourth day, is he ok? Did we really just go this long without speaking? 

I was shocked I did so well giving him his space, but I was even more shocked that he allowed me the same. I reached out the night before no answer, the next morning no answer… was he really THIS busy? Is ANYONE this busy!? After thinking of our days together I had no great feeling he was uninterested, but this was day four. He obviously had a sliver of time to at least text, “hey sunshine thinking about you.” Or to FaceTime me a few seconds “Just to see my face”. But those messages and calls never came, was I wrong to expect this? He had me accustomed to this behavior and now? I couldn’t get a fart in the wind. Was I going to watch my phone hoping every text and phone call I received would read 🖤KING🖤, a name I obviously gave him prematurely. 

My mind told me to cut my losses, my heart… well she wasn’t available for comment. I texted him, 

“Hey idk what’s going on, maybe you don’t feel the same after my visit. I’m going to move around. Lauren”

Almost instantly 

“Nah, I’m just super busy.”

“All in due time.” 

There it was, that smile he gave me. I was happy but I was pissed. I felt neglected but I was trying to be understanding… I was trying to be the support he needed and not greet him with nagging and stress. I told myself to leave him be, you aren’t his lady just give him his time and enjoy him when he comes to town. The next day I texted a kiss and continued my day. 

I thought it’d be cute if I showed him that even in my absence I thought of him, by creating a countdown video. Every day that passed every city I went to I had my crew take a picture. With each picture each day I grew more excited. I got to see my man shortly and I just knew it would be amazing!

Friends and I began to prepare for his visit, they called me, probing for answers on what we’d do, how I felt, what I’d wear. Although I was excited in the back of my mind I knew things weren’t the same. It was obvious really, so much so I started lying to my girls. This was rare for me, I was the career third wheel and like my friends I assumed Lamar was the answer to my singleness. I was accepting things I shouldn’t. Not the busy schedule he held but the lack of effort he was giving. I felt things would be better when he came in town, I’d help him relax from work and love on him the best way I could. 

Then came Tuesday, 

“Hey what time are you picking up Lamar from the airport? I was thinking breakfast before you go…”

My friend Krystle had text, she knew the most of me and Lamar and wanted to calm my nerves about things. 

“I don’t know let me ask, hold on…”

That’s when it hit me, I went to our text to text him and ask when he was landing. I hadn’t spoken to him since last Tuesday. It had been SEVEN days since he said anything to me. Embarrassed and hurt I told Krystle, I had to be honest because she wouldn’t judge. 

“Uh, I think he isn’t coming. We haven’t spoke in seven days.”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY SEVEN! Did y’all argue? Did something happen?” 

“I don’t know. I mean no… I don’t know what’s going on”

“Call him! Stop being so passive what if something happened and he needs you!”

I think we had all fallen a little for Lamar all my friends loved him and didn’t know him, but with that we all let down a guard that allowed us all to make excuses. I called and texted, the next morning there was no response. However the next morning was different, it was my birthday. I called him again, -just answer and give me a time babe please. I thought as the phone rang… no answer. I headed to work and hoped he was just in a meeting. 

I knew better maybe I knew when I flew away from his city that things were done from there, maybe I wrote it off as the past hurt just trying to keep me from happiness. I drove to work with tears in my eyes. Krystle called me, I hid my crying voice and told her everything was fine and I’d call her later about breakfast.

All day I replied to text, answered calls and tried to receive the love from friends and family on my birthday. However nothing came from him, I later told myself he’ll call at like 6 or 8 like usual. I mean at that point I blatantly texted him and gave him a spill on how I was confused and hopeful but hurting by his silence. I felt honesty would be appreciated and received well, I was wrong. No response.

The day went and worsened by the minute, I cried and I cried often. Totaling about four times. I later got around family and tried to mask my feelings. I called him again my birthday was coming to an end….

As the phone rang I received a text:

“Talking to moms, I’ll call you back.”

There was no smile, there were no butterflies, there was nothing. I felt defeated, although I had a child like hope he’d call I knew he wouldn’t. I trusted him until the last minute, two hours had passed. His mother knew of me, we spoke, to his admission she asked about me… frequently. So why am I waiting around two hours for him to call me? 

That was it, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I sent him the video and gave him a piece of my mind. Deleted his photos, his name and lastly his calls and texts. I had to or I’d fold and call him the next day, he hurt me but I was still hopeful for a minute. 

As I tried to smooth over my wounds and sleep I thought; I couldn’t put my needs aside anymore I was crushed, devastated. What did I do? What changed? He wasn’t different like my friends proclaimed to me, he wasn’t what I had been deserving after my being happy for them and waiting. He wasn’t the reason I had to go through such pain… he was the cherry on the top of that pain sundae. How could I be so easily fooled so easily drawn in? 

He was fine but a lot of men were.

He was nice but nice don’t give you the feels.

He was my muse, I didn’t love him but I wanted to be down for him. I wanted to be great to him, he was going to be my homie, lover and friend, my plus one. My main support system at my third graduation.  

And that was the problem, I was more convincing than he was… 

I was too easy…

To Be a Black Girl Like Me

To be a black girl like me, 

Is to be free.

Sprinkling that shine, that strut and glitter…

Swaying my body when I walk, showing all my fronts when I talk…

To be a black girl like me,

Is to have that black girl magic I share with everyone! 

To have no hesitation of pride in my presentation…

To be a black girl like me,

Is to be proud of how my ancestors mash’up to create me, so how dare I look in the mirror and say I hate me? 

Through a slave trade I’m sure either great love or terrible pain was endured to create one that would later bare another to create my mothers, mother. 

A white man we can call Tom joined with a Native American woman named Mariah, to create a mothers mother that would bare my father. 

To be a black girl like me, 

A mixture of features that I myself barely understand… with this coily hair the color of sand. 

These ears and a nose fit for a King, for which children used to utter mean things. The thing that most ties me to my father… to hate myself for that? Life’s already too hard, why bother.

To be a black girl like me,

Is to have skin pale in the winter, then the summer it’s painted a red so deep you’d think I was the sinner of the week. 

Blemish free, soft like a worn out cotton tee. 

Why on earth would I hate me…?

To be a black girl like me,

Is to have a Face outlined in natural blonde hairs, with eyebrows that used to be scarce…

At 26 I hold full brown eyes betwixt my ears, my shape like my eyes I gathered from my mother. 

You’d think I wanted to be her…as I flip through pictures of myself I always see her.

To be a black girl like me,

Means sass, class and bravery for to be a black girl can be difficult. See we aren’t all bonded together like a religious cult. 

For our history has separated us, from house niggers to field niggers, to being relocated to the back of the bus, now presently theirs no common sisterhood no trust…

Who understands me better than her? The girl with skin like mine and hair that reaches toward the sun as mine does. The girl I don’t have to inform what it is or what it was…

No one, that’s who. Trying to replace her with Becky is no equal… constantly explaining to her what she can and can’t do. Why I’m not her nigga and why I won’t partake in a customary “Biiiihhh guess what”, simply because Becky you’re not Brenda like what the fuck! 

To be a black girl like me,

Is the only way to be… and that includes loving my fellow sista unconditionally. 

Because even though she may stare and glare, that’s customary “girl I love you!!” Is deep down in there. 

Dear Readers,

The other day I got up to take a wiz in the middle of the night. My phones screen was lighting up with instagram messages and likes. I paid it no mind and went on to sleep. The following morning I checked my phone to see amoung missed text, emails etc. there was a instagram message from a guy I dated. The text read “text me”, before he got the courage to DM me he went on a liking spree of newer images. 

Long story short this man like others treated me badly, once he had enough of my pleasantries he was so harsh like he never knew love in his life. He never valued me as a person, my opinion or the genuine love and support I offered. I am a true “Virgo” in that I nurture and care for those I love and sometimes people I don’t even know, it brings me great joy. Him included. 

As I laid in the bed with this amazing man sitting at the foot of it preparing for work, I knew I was completely done with my previous partners. I literally looked at the message and in my head said, “boooooy if you don’t.” 

I am eagerly and genuinely hoping for the best with myself and current love interest. However I want to remind y’all that there’s ALWAYS better. There’s always someone willing to do the things you desire without hesitation or you having to pester them. Do not go back to those that hurt you! They are rarely sorry and they’ll continue to abuse you. 

If you’re in a bad space with someone I advise you to do as I have. Leave, take time for solitude, visit a therapist and love on yourself fiercely!!! Date yourself and become content with your self and life, that inner genuine happiness can come from no one but yourself.
I love you all, 

Sincerely 

•B

Lusting Lauren 

I laid there next to him, I had grown accustomed to sleeping with our backs to one another. It was a combination of him being exhausted often and not wanting to cuddle up. Although it wasn’t my preference I was ok with the compromise, there was so much he did to help me feel secure, and wanted I could do with out consistently cuddling every night.

However tonight I wasn’t tired at all, attempting to be considerate of him working himself silly I wanted to let him rest. I looked to him, his face perfect, fresh from the shower he smelled amazing. I grinned and as always he caught me, “what’s wrong” he said. “I’m ok…*smiles*” I was smitten honestly and it embarrassed me. How could I like him this way so soon, with minimal effort? I didn’t question things for long, I was laying next to the man who made my heart smile. I didn’t want to waste my energy or time on questioning my feelings, I had a Flight to catch early in the morning and I wanted to relish in our last hours until next time.

He was in and out of sleep as I gently rested my hand on his abs and my head on his chest, “you can’t feel anything if my shirt is on…”, “So are you going to take it off or naw.”

“Na…”, my hand was under his shirt before he could say much more. “There you go..” he closed his eyes in preparation for sleep but that’s not what would satisfy me at the moment. Rubbing a body he worked so hard for, my body moistened. As I stroked his body I went lower, down to his waistline, grazing the waistband of his basketball shorts.

My yoni in cahoots with me, purring inside my underwear. My mind pondering our next move, “he has to work tomorrow. Would you be willing to roll over in the middle of the night to satisfy him if he did this to you? Of course… Do you want sleepy sex? Uhhh.” I grazed his penis with my leg first, he didn’t budge. Then I slowly rubbed down his shaft, he wasn’t aroused, his member less intimidating this way. With time I plainly said, fuck it.

I reached into his shorts and kissed his lips gently, one eye opened first, he smiled. I licked his lips and we both laughed. “Sunshine, I have to go to sleep. We have to be up at 5a, relax.” I wanted to obey him but I couldn’t calm my ever demanding yoni. “Babe, just real quick…” Who did I become to recite such an embarrassing line. “Lauren we can’t, now lay down.” I obliged and resorted to my side. He came up close behind me, placing his manhood on my bum. I melted a bit. Holding me for a short time once he released me I swung into action.

I dipped under the covers and took him inside my mouth. My position awkward, the temperature almost causing me to sweat. I sucked him until he rose in my mouth. Everything I did for him I did with love and this was no different. Making love to his penis as I sucked it I moaned. He pulled the covers back, “really, this what you want?” I smiled and began stroking him as I took the fullness of his scrotum into my mouth. He widened his legs and lifted me by my forearm. Placing me slowly onto my favorite seat in the whole house.

Lamar was good at a number of things, being a provider, being a leader, making me feel like the only girl in the world. He wasn’t limited to those things either, pleasing me well when necessary always seemed to be his priority. Tonight was no different, as I rode his face my body shuttered. I came out of my top and then my bra. Topless with my panties to the side I enjoyed his pleasantries.

This was short-lived as I wanted more so to please him. I turned my body to sixty-nine my lover. As I approached him I prepared my throat and cleared my mind. Taking his shaft deep into my throat I stretched my tongue out. I was aiming my tongue towards his scrotum, just barely reaching it. My eyes watering I took his jewels into my hand and shifted them to the base of his shaft, licking them as much as my throat and tongue would allow. In and out of my mouth I bounced my head in a swift but composed movement. Saliva building between us, pulling like pizza dough. In a trance only considering him I didn’t realize he stopped pleasing me and took in the sights and sensation happening around him.

He lifted my body back, his hands gently climbing up my body to my breast. He kissed my bum, His free hand on my lower back he motioned for me to move down. I warmly took my position on top of him, never realizing how easily and swiftly I glided across his body. My yoni moistened, his manhood covered in a thick film of saliva I slid down him. So much power was behind his erection, I planted my feet into the bed and rode him slowly, up and down creating a deep squat. Massaging him with spontaneous kegels, and fondling his scrotum I felt him slap my bum. In my reverse cowgirl position I leaned forward balancing my weight on all four limbs. I then lifted myself as high as I could and down as far as my body would allow without releasing him. I wanted him to see my yoni swallowing him whole and the moisture she created as a “thanks”.

I could feel his hands all over me and I felt proud, accomplished to be embraced by him I felt like a lady, his lady and that was necessary to me. With this feeling I felt I could share all of me with him and not regret it. My filthiest desires could be expressed and explored. When I proved to be taking too long in my effort to fuck him slowly he bent my over into the bed. Again I never realized how effortlessly we transitioned from one position to the next. Assuming it was just my state of pure enjoyment.

Now bent over with my upper body fully parallel to the bed, Lamar entered me slowly. Initially we created a gentle bounce before he decided to fuck me with a delightfully rigorous stroke. I couldn’t moan, I couldn’t say his name, I could only grip the sheets and let him have at it while I enjoyed the ride. I opened my yoni more as he placed one foot on the bed and his hand atop my bum. Within minutes he painted my yoni with the sweet of him. Unlike usual it wasnt as warm, it was thicker and sticky…I felt my yoni in confusion.

As I reached down I felt my underwear, I opened my eyes only to realize I had been dreaming. Lamar and I fell asleep after he pushed his manhood against my bum. Still holding me when I woke up, he later retreated to his side of the bed and I was on mine. It was 5:12 am and time for me to prepare for my flight. I needed a shower but settled for a pantyliner change until I reached home.

Over worked & UnderF*ckd Pt2

As I fondled my bean and peered into his eyes gazing like he took me into his arms. Swiftly but gracefully he lifted me with one arm holding us both up with his second arm.

His dominance over came me, kissing he lifted me back onto my pillows. A crimson hued background flickering with candle light. His manhood hung and danced between both his legs and mine, I couldn’t pause to look into his eyes, I couldn’t speak a word, nor make a sound before he was inside of me. Just the tip at first, both his arms now at the side of my head. His fist planted in the mattress, ape like he hovered over me. I looked him over resting my hand on both his ribs and back, searching for a glimmer of passion and desire in his eyes.

Once I found it he pushed his weight on to me, in return digging into my yoni. My body pre-moistened by the earlier events, he slid into me so sweetly. Locking eyes, my mouth opened wide, my back arched ever so gently…he pushed me down and kissed my forehead as to comfort me. I grabbed both his arms, opened my legs wide and let him have his way.

He changed his tempo as a musician tunes up their instrument, searching my eyes, feeling my body…trying to discern what my body wanted. Every new pitch more satisfying than the other, every thrust fueled with great love, passion and tension. His eyes studying me I felt naked, open… to see him look at me with such a Curiosity I knew he had more in mind than just fucking me.

With a yoni fresh off of detox and a mind clear of insecurities I decided to let him enjoy me. As I settled in my position Lamar realized I had given into him conquering me. My flag had been waved and it was the best decision I had made since giving him my number.

Lamar then lifted himself grabbing my waist and quickly drilled into me, my breast formed their own rhythm. I felt a build up coming, I moaned loudly grabbing at him trying to get him close to me. Menacingly he fucked me, my mind empty my body crazed I couldn’t hold back any longer. I squirted all over, forcing him out of me. My legs and feet stiffened my moan transitioned into a whimper and I couldn’t do a thing about it. Shocked and pleased by his performance he smiled, chuckled and said “Oh ok”.

I made the mistake of assuming he was finished, as I thought I couldn’t handle much more. Turning over to my side to hide my face and rest my weakened body, he kissed my yoni and bit my bum. “I can’t… no.” I recited as I gently lifted my leg to give him better access. He French kissed my yoni tenderly, within a few short seconds my leg and hand was rested atop his head. He twisted me back onto my back, I had the greatest view of his back and head. I was in heaven, flicking my bean with his tongue and penetrating my yoni with two fingers I was a happy girl. He took me to my peak a quickly pulled back and massaged my bean with his thick penis. This time my yoni pouring out like a hall water fountain, slow but steady.

As he smacked himself on my yoni driving me nuts, I couldn’t help but pull him in close and kiss him like we’d been separated 12 years.

Nestled near him I slept like the spoiled princess I was.

Over worked & UnderF*ckd

Life with Lamar as my love interest was fun, things were amazing. Maybe because we were both too busy to annoy the other. No matter the case I enjoyed being able to call him mine. He was able to break down some barriers in a short amount of time, some remain but to hear his name made me smile and cover my face.

Work and school were becoming a bit much, it was like I never had a moment to rest. My happiest times were spent with him. I had three days off after working six days straight and I was so excited to get my home in order and relax before getting back to my classwork. 

Dealing with customers today proved to be the hardest, with the frustrations of life and the desire to just go home I was less than pleasant. I wasn’t rude or harsh I just had no real desire to go above and beyond like every other day. My smiles were quick and small, similar to all my conversations. I wanted to be home in bed reading while Lamar watched his favorite game. Or watching him from a distance as he worked out, his body so perfect and gleaming with sweat. I ached to be near him and with much time and distance between him and I, I never would tell him. 

After being in turbulent relationships and learning to guard my heart. I could only share so much of my heart with him without feeling dumb. To imagine his smile, his full beard, perfect skin… to desire him as I did made work bareable. 

I hopped on the green line on my way home… headphones in and texting Lamar ever so often. I assumed he was busy at work or with his mom or perhaps clients, in any case our contact would be short lived. I made the ten minute walk to my building plowed through the gate and to the buildings door. I turned the key noticing through the window a trail of what I thought to be rubbish. Once I reached the hall I got a better look, it was rose petals. I smiled and left them where they were as I shuffled to my door wondering who was the lucky girl. I lived on the first floor, it turns out I was the lucky girl! 

Confused and hopeful I pushed my door open and stood back. Tears filled my eyes as I saw Lamar smiling with a candle lit glow around him. “Hello Sunshine”, I squealed and walked towards him, before I could take three whole steps he grabbed me. “How was your day?”

As we blanketed over our days he undressed me, gently and gracefully. As he laid me onto my bed like a young school girl all I could do was hold his face smiling and pecking him. My man was here with me after a long week of work and school. Without me knowing he flew out to see me and had a night planned of decadent romance. Once my body reached my bed he massaged my legs first, firmly gripping me as we talked. “When did you get here? I thought you had meetings?” Blabbering on he listened and smiled. He enjoyed my excitement, my innocence, my complete infatuation of him. 

Gently up my thigh, to my waist he caressed me. He kissed my navel and continued up my body, my words got quite. In turn my body screamed out to me, at first a gentle purring. Then he reached my face and told me he missed me, low like a whisper I looked into his eyes…”I missed you too King.” His face slowly lowering to mine he kissed my forehead before removing his shirt. 

At that moment my yoni leaked as if to salivate before a savory meal. My mind emptied as he lowered his body down to mine. I grabbed his face once more and kissed his lips, for a few moments we got lost in the kiss of each other. Upon opening my eyes I grabbed his shaft and inserted him inside of me. My body’s grip on him was ever present, my yoni began to run a slow deep pulse and I turned my head into my left shoulder and upper arm. Covering my face and biting my lip I relaxed to receive all of my man. With my right hand I sat my hand on his abs, in no way did I want to restrict him so I spread my legs as he held them back. 

“Fuuu…..ck” I moaned out. He looked down to me almost as if he was perplexed. “Damn…sunshine.” I’m sure he was aware but every time I had done well in his eyes it filled me with joy. I smiled and looked down to my yoni to watch as he stretched her to her limits. His penis covered in a clear film, he slowly dug into me. Each time pushing my body further back into the bed, and turning me on more and more. Once I was comfortable I slid back under him, putting his penis right back inside of me I tenses up slightly and relaxed. Once we were both comfortable I put my legs back and spread my yoni open to him. In return he gave me a few hard thrust, his aggression pleasing.

“Harder”, I challenged him.

He gave me a devilish grin, grabbed my knees and pounded into me so fiercely I couldn’t verbally respond. My yoni now puddling in an effort to thank and encourage him. Periodically I looked to watch us connecting with one another. To watch my body cream on his vein riddled penis. He pounded in me so good that my eyes filled with tears, before he could reach his climax I pulled back. My yoni was throbbing and swollen as I touched her he smiled, “come here”. I turned over, resting my head deep into the mattress and pushing my yoni up as far as it would go I looked to him and smiled. 

All 6’2 of his lean and perfect body came to me, slapping his member on my yoni I could feel his hard thick penis. I wanted him inside me and bad, just when I thought he was ready he’d pull out. Into me he pushed the tip of himself, slowly and out, in and out. I begged him to just let me have it and soon enough he did. Just when I was ready to push my weight onto him and take control he pushed my body down and shoved all of him in me. I grabbed the pillows and sheets my toes curled my back arched and my legs quivered. Pinning me down he tore into me so deep and hard, the only sound you could hear was a stirring and smacking sound. He pulled my hair and head up and kissed me in my mouth… I loved every single moment and he confirmed all my reasons for staying true to him even hundreds of miles away. After we kissed he pulled my body close to his and drilled me harder, taking my bum into his hands I moaned at the top of my lungs. “Yes baby, yes!” 

He pulled out and rained down on me, although my knees were weakened by the sex he supplied. I moved my legs slowly to make my cheeks clap as his sperm slid down to my yoni. Collecting the mixture with my fingers I looked into his eyes and licked my fingers clean. 

I gently stroked my yoni, unlike myself she was thick, tiny and just shallow enough to please. She needed this, I needed this. To be fucked by someone I cared for after a long week was necessary and he delivered. 

I loved watching him watch me enjoy myself, so I played with my yoni until he decided to join me for a round two…

A Majestic Night in.

It was a normal morning, nothing out of the ordinary. I woke up a few moments before my hotel wake up call, I began to prepare for a day of running and flying. I was in a chipper mood per usual as I made up my face, in the background sang sounds of Hip Hop music. I needed the uptempo to keep my already high spirits up.

Today I chose my uniform pants and sweater set, in the aviation world the uniform choices are few and rarely flattering. Within 45 minutes I was out the door and on my way to a late van time of 11:45a. As I approached the van my captain wished me a good morning and let me know, “Today could potentially be a rough one for the cabin crew…”. This aircraft required two flight attendants, I looked to my aft, smiled at the crew and replied, “Alex and Myself can handle whatever gets handed to us, only we could make our day bad.” We all tipped the driver and we all fell in.

On the ten minute ride to the airport I curated a list of songs to keep me upbeat and steady. All songs preformed by Drake, songs like One Dance, signs and Controlla. We were late starting before we even woke up due to weather the previous day so we had two dead heads into what would be our two working flights. We dashed through the Charlotte airport to our gate to find our second deadhead for the day was delayed. As my crew chatted about relationships and the hardships of dating and finding love as a crew member I danced.

Tuning them out I flowed into a dancing trance of small but noticeable steps. There were a few onlookers and I didn’t mind the smiles and attempts by passing passengers to dance alongside me. I continued this way until it was time to board, even then I shifted my body to the beat all the way to my seat. The flight was under an hour which was more than enough time to rest up for my work flight after.

We remained on the aircraft landing in Norfolk as we were the crew flying into ORD after everyone deplaned. Alex and I had a few minutes to do our safety checks and like clockwork our passengers were at the Main Cabin door. I greeted the incoming passengers  and prepared pre-departure drinks for first class. Trying to multi task and give everyone eye contact I looked away to pour the drinks and back towards the door. I looked down to see a young boy about 10 come in the aircraft, he was handsome and polite. I said hello and he responded, as he passed and I lifted my head I saw what I assumed to be his father.

This man was a little over six feet with an athletic build, as my eyesight combed over his body I was mesmerized. Slow at first until I got a glimpse of his thick, black beard. If I could stop there he was already perfect anything else was just a bonus. So I kept upward to find he had full lips, a good mix between caramel and milk chocolate skin and beautiful eyes. Before I could speak I looked away, I was embarrassed and hadn’t done much but my job. He said hello and passed by, as soon as his body passed me completely I looked in his direction and a bit left to see if there was a woman in front of him since another family followed behind. There was.

Did he know her? Were they traveling together? Is this his son? Is he married? My heart sank as I said hello to the others and finished up my duties before taxing out.

Alex and I sat down for take off, from my jumpseat I could see her pointing at a passenger but why? I lifted my phone in an attempt to ask if she wanted me to call her, she shook her head no. We took off and were released from our seats, assuming the passenger was traveling with the woman who lead in boarding I took him off my radar. Alex emerged in the galley and I asked was everything ok, “Yes! But did you see that guy in 23 B.” I laughed and told her I wasn’t paying attention what did he look like, Alex described him and before she could finish I asked,”does he have a young boy with him?” “OMG, Yes! I wonder if he dates white women…”

Now I realized Alex was planing to make a move. I told her he may be traveling with someone and we should probably check first, as I made my rounds to talk to the children I looked for a ring. As I approached the back of the aircraft to talk to the young boy I noticed the guy was asleep. I peered over and glanced at his hands to see he wasn’t wearing one. The woman I assumed was traveling with him was rows ahead and they didn’t communicate.

Alex and I worked our 2 hour flight and prepared for landing. Alex came to me with her trash and said, “Girl give him your number. Like now…” laughing embarrassingly I wasn’t sure if I had the courage nor confidence to do such a thing. I mean is this his child? Am I prepared to date a man with children? What if he’s a dud and just looks good? I am a worrisome person by nature and so many questions filled my brain until Alex grabbed my arm and said, “just do it, what’s the worst that could happen?”

So I wrote a little note that read;

I think you’re handsome, you slept the whole flight and I couldn’t say much. If you’re single call me…

I took the note into my pocket and cleaned up first class in preparation for landing. As I retired to my jumpseat my insides began to flutter, am I really doing this? I could just toss it and forget about it… I mean it’s not like we had a moment or anything super special.

*High Pitched Chimes*

Pilot: This is your captain speaking, it looks like someone is occupying our gate. We will be sitting for about ten minutes for our gate to open. Feel free to use your mobile phones as we wait to taxi into our gate. Welcome to ORD.

I have to pee, Now! My bladder filled and I knew I wouldn’t be smooth enough to pass him my number if I was wiggling like a worm in my shoes. I motioned to Alex and we switched positions, once I came out the lav Alex motioned for me to stay in her jumpseat since we would be moving soon. I obliged and to my surprise Mister 23 was awake and multitasking on his phones. As I glanced over and saw he had two phones I asked myself, “Do you want to deal with someone who is so important he needs two phones?” I brushed the hesitation aside and struck up conversation between him and the young boy and a few other passengers. I was relaxed and something told me to ask if they were traveling with someone else. “No its just me and my little man…” Dammit that is his son, well we are here now just do it, I thought as I geared up to respond. Before I could he said, ” I’m just trying to get him home to his parents in California.”

The angels sang and inside I rejoiced, he may have children at home but now I know this one isn’t one. Now was my time as the ten minutes quickly became one, I reached into my pocket and grabbed the paper. “Well I was going to give you this when you deplaned but I’m here now.” Smiling very small he replied, “Aw yea, thanks.” We talked a little more about my next flight to Toronto and he said goodbye. I didn’t know what to expect I was just proud of myself, I did it. If he called or not I felt good in knowing I didn’t back out and I went for what I wanted. I shared the news with Alex as we went to get food, she was excited but changed the subject swiftly.

Within an hour of meeting him he texted me;

Hey Lauren

Lamar from the Norfolk flight.

You could have woke me up too. Just a FYI.

Safe travels and I’ll talk to you soon.

I blushed, I was excited as I read his short but hopeful message in the galley and so was Alex. At this time we were in flight and I had service to do so I used my time wisely and thought of a response.

Waking you up would’ve been too risky for me. I’m taking off now, ill talk to you later.

Later that day he and I texted for a bit before he called. The communication was easy a delightful, he made me feel relaxed like I could share anything with him, we laughed cracked jokes and shared encouraging words with one another. I was shocked with how gentlemanly he was, how caring he was to family and the children he worked with. Not because of him but because of my past. Men at this point had been horribly predictable, although he was different it took a while to let my guard down fully.

Over the course of about three months we spoke regularly via FaceTime and phone calls/text, we visited each other frequently. We both made the necessary sacrifices to see one another at least two times a month. In person he was even more pleasant and time spent with him was fulfilling. I always left him on a high, and he helped maintain the good feelings while I was away. The better he made me feel the more I tried to return the favor. With time I wanted to be and give so much to him like he had done for me.

So much so that this coming visit I wanted to prepare myself and give him something I deemed special… me.

I purchased all new lingerie and underwear for this trip. I got my entire body waxed from chin down and I did a yoni and body detox. Many of my methods of preparation my friends said were a bit much but I didn’t want anything to go wrong on my end. I wanted to be good to him, Lamar gave me a safe place that no one had prior and I always wanted to come correct with him. He was older and I’m sure he had his share of women.

I packed for this three-day trip eager and nervous, like usual Lamar wouldn’t let me worry too much about anything he always took the lead and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I arrived in Norfolk and he was there to pick me up, as soon as I spotted him I grinned from ear to ear and ran to him to hug him. He wasn’t one for PDA so a quick tight hug was enough for the moment. He grabbed my things and gave me some flowers right after opening the door. We got settled in his house after he ran a few last-minute errands. The entire time we were in the car talking and joking I wanted to kiss him, to hold his hand, to sit in his lap. Periodically I settled on gently resting my hand on his thigh while he drove. The anticipation heightened my desire to let him conquer me.

Like most women before becoming  intimate with a new lover I daydreamed about us, Lamar’s personality fluidly showcased in his love-making. A combination of both animalistic alpha male aggression and a gentle tenderness that would make any woman blush. I also considered my performance would I recluse into a shell, or would I release my inner sex kitten who had never been experienced before?

The time came when he and I rested on the couch, finally. Like clockwork we attacked each other with kisses and hugs. By this time Lamar was conditioned to not getting any so when things got too heavy he calmed down and pulled back. Tapping me on my bum and saying, “That’s enough, relax.” I looked up at him and said, “I’ve been on edge and Today’s not a day I feel like relaxing…. unless.” “Unless what..?”

I smiled because I could see disbelief and happiness in his face. “Unless you could help me get relaxed….” I said as I unbuttoned my top. “…you sure…?” “Un huh”

I climbed on top of him cradling his face and kissing him. He smacked my bum and it sent a surge through my body. I smiled and giggled, nibbling on his lip he lifted me off of him and put me on the couch. Like a child he undressed me, as he released each button, snap and zipper he didn’t kiss me like some would he simply took the image of me in. He built up a fixation and it turned me on more. From my top to my skirt and then my shoes, he undressed me. When he was finished I was left in my panties, bra and thigh highs. He lifted his body and kneeled over me, with one swift movement he was out of his shirt exposing a physique so perfect a puddle formed in my panties. As I rubbed the tip of my fingers across his abs I thought to myself, “All of this… all this for me!” Like one would at the arrival of their surprise party. Towering over me I looked up to his face, the light behind him casting a glare my familiarity with him filled in all the spots not shown.

He leaned down to me grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me. I placed my hand on his cheek and grabbed his free hand with the other. Guiding him inside me I couldn’t take the anticipation, I wanted him to feel the sweet of me. I wanted him to gather my warmth, wetness and desire. Soon he would get acquainted with the home created for him inside of me. He gently laughed as he felt me, taking his fingers across my inner lips, his fingers slid. As he massaged my yoni I slid my hand down his chest to his manhood. Only to be shook… Lamar was heavy, my gaze turned into a tense glare. He always wore athletic wear since the day I met him. So like every other day he was out fitted in control/compression sport leggings and basketball shorts. With the leggings holding all of him in place all I could feel was a bulge, however it wasn’t “normal”. If you placed a thick sausage inside a shoe duster bag and held the tie string high and watched the sausage lay into the bag, that would be close to what I saw… the typical print silhouette. However when I say heavy imagine a new tube sock full of rice and warmed in the microwave. He was that heavy yet inviting, I had been so afraid up to this point that his size wouldn’t satisfy. I figured something had to be wrong with him, he treated me all too well.

The tv still going in the background Lamar lifted me gently and rested my head on the conchs arm rest. Down my body he explored his uncharted territory, his hands firmly gripping my body, my breast my waist. Until he reached my yoni, he uncovered her gently removing my panties. As he reached my knees he said one word,”Sure?” I lifted my right leg out of my panties and placed it on his shoulder. As I began shifting my hands down towards my yoni he pushed them away and said, “Relax”.

Lamar grabbed my calf gently slid his hand to my ankle and pushed my leg out further. As he opened my legs you could hear my lips separate, I was ready for anything he had in mind.

Lamar took his head to my yoni kissed my stomach and inner thigh, he then kissed my yoni almost in a nudging motion. Three times he did this before taking his tongue and licking me as if to wipe me clean. Due to my recent wax visit I could feel everything, his prickly hairs from his beard, his full lips and his tongue. My goodness could I feel his warm, strong tongue. From what felt like wipes of his tongue to a twirling sucking motion, everything about it was majestic. I looked down to see a profile view of my man at work. His tongue fully erect, his mouth open wide and his eyes closed it looked as if he enjoyed me which in turn made my body moisten more.

Tears filled my eyes and no matter how good it felt to be enjoyed by him I had to focus. Avoiding a climax I used his compression leggings to my benefit. Understanding majority of his blood was flowing to his member and that the compression pants added Much pressure I gently stroked him with the lower part of my leg. His eyes shot open and he smiled, quickly he began to gorge on my sweetness. I stopped teasing him as my body stiffened, my hands and head sank into the couch my upper body now erect, my lower body was in his hands. He wouldn’t let me run away, the tears that filled my eyes soon fell and all I could do was whimper.

He came up to my face and I kissed him eagerly, grabbing my hands he placed them on my yoni, with his hands only he coached me on how he wanted me to feel myself. After I caught his rhythm he stepped onto the floor and took off his bottoms. As he rose up and I saw his shaft I instantly grabbed at it, he stepped back and told me, “No, I didn’t tell you to stop did I?” “but…” He looked at me as he was known to do when my antics had become too much. “Ok babe.” Was all I could say as I practiced what he had taught me a few moments before. He sat down and motioned for me to come to him, I obliged him.

I stood in front of him covering myself, my body feeling weak and my mind scattered. “Drop your hands…” I let out an embarrassed giggle, although I wanted this although this wasn’t my first time I enjoyed the role he took on, he was more demanding now than he had been in our relationship. Although he’s always been in control, and it drove me nuts. I dropped my hands at my sides and he looked at me for a few seconds and said, “you look beautiful now come here…” I walked a half a step to him and he picked me up like a rag doll he lifted me, placing me on his shaft as I opened my legs. As we kissed I felt his veins, his warmth and the tenderness in his grip. I was in heaven, I slid my yoni on him twice before he demanded I put it in. With his voice he controlled me, not his words. His tone was smooth, never heightened or excessively aggressive. It was almost like his tone spoke to my body… making all of me want to obey.

As I slid down his shaft my body shook, my mind emptied and I tried to relax. Lamar watched my face as I looked away embarrassed, when his size proved to be too much he intervened. Pulling me in close a kissing my neck I was puddling in his lap. The contrast of his beard on my skin weakened me.

Lamar with swift short strokes entered into me fully, although his manhood was a bit much to bare I whispered to him, “daddy fuck me…. please.” I knew what followed would be painful but he made me want it, just by being him I was willing to take any and all pain my body could bare. Holding me tighter my king filled me with so much passion, frustration and rigor. When he grew tired I stepped in to assist, riding him slowly and deep. He tilted his head back rested his body and let me have my way with him. “You got it babe…” he said gently. For a few moments I was sensual in my approach and then I added speed to my tempo, he gripped my body, his scrotum tighten and he swore low but frequently in my ear. I knew the time would soon come where he’d need to release and I had the perfect place.

He gave my bum one good smack I bit his lip and removed him from me, I lowered myself onto my knees to see his member face to face. I took the fullness of his scrotum into my mouth as I stroked his shaft quickly. For a few short minutes I was dazed, Humming as I licked, sucked and gargle he swore again, I smiled took his tip into my mouth and sucked the warm, sweet, milk like gold from him like my favorite milkshake.

It was more than I needed and everything I hoped for. I was indeed, relaxed.

Touch me

Touch me… 
Grab my booty, I whisper as we posed to take pictures.

He could feel my smile on his cheek, the very thought of him always made me weak. 
Every time we lay, we climb the highest of mountains to help the other reach their peak.

Last time, grabbing me from behind he took me. 

The firm aggression and soft hands, it shook me.
Inside me he swam, a good girl I rarely am…

But tonight was the night he’d make me do right…
Inside me he dug, his feet firmly planted in the rug…

His toes curled my eyes swirled… to the furthest of my temple. Never, not one time have I challenged why he occupied my mental.
With us It’s less than complex, touch me… and see what happens next. I love him, for more than the sex… we were created together… like a set.